воскресенье, 19 октября 2008 г.

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Itapos;s been almost a week since I last posted. Time flies as they say. Just finished a weekapos;s annual leave which was great. Unfortunately S is allergic to something in the house and I donapos;t know what. The last 3 times she has been here she has developed sore, puffy eyes and a rash which she canapos;t possibly put up with. Itapos;s awful and I find it really upsetting that she canapos;t safely come to stay here. She has some antihistamines but my biggest fear is that sheapos;s allergic to the cats. She has her own but apparently she could be allergic to the saliva or tears of my persians. I donapos;t think I could bear to part with them. I hope it doesnapos;t come to that.

Anyway, despite her mutant status (Rapos;s word not mine) we managed to decorate her room in Dragonapos;s blood and pumice. I managed to convince her that one wall of red was enough to make a really good statement that wasnapos;t apos;neutralapos;. Neutral is apparently the sin of all decorating sins. It does look good though. Weapos;ll have to make it a completely cat free zone and hope for the best. Her father is being a prat about it but then heapos;s a prat about most things to thatapos;s true to form. We started the Christmas discussion but it didnapos;t go well. Round 2 next weekend.

I enjoyed my holiday but am now starting to feel anxious about going back to work. I am restarting my PhD after time out and one minute I feel ok and then I look at my diary and start to feel the impossibility of it all. Iapos;d like to believe itapos;s all going to be worth it but Iapos;m not convinced. If I can just get it under my belt then I can relax for the next 25 years No one can ask me to study anything else That sounds pretty good at this moment.My problem is my disinclinication to play the game or jump the hoops. I canapos;t be bothered with all that crap. Not at my age. The elitism of academia is such a turnoff.

J is going to help me upload some photos later so hopefully I can move on from my position of most boring journal ever. I look forward to it.

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суббота, 18 октября 2008 г.

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You know that guy I wanted at work? the customer that always came in? Tristan... Well he has a girlfriend and I didnapos;t like her at first and then I started talking to her and was like "well, she is a fun girl, I have to give her that, but I still want her boyfriend" after getting drunk together with them and my boss we even kissed as a goodbye, back then I squee-ed because I could kiss Tristan, NOW I squee because I kissed her. LOL.

to make it a bit more clear what I was talking about... That girl is Alison Goldfrapp some of you might know her and she is amazing. Ken found out about that today and was all mysterious about it until she left and I was all squeeing and Michele didnapos;t even know who we were talking about.


ALISON GOLDFRAPP - first celebrity in our small nice Imbiss ;)

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Itapos;s 1:23 am and Iapos;m in Orlando.

I thought I would be in Leesburg, asleep by now.

I am now neither asleep or in Leesburg.


This morning I woke up with a pretty terrible stomach ache. To relieve it, I had a nice long bubble bath with extra hot water. Unfortunately, I was submerged in water so long that when I resurfaced, my feet had pruned very badly. And it hurt It felt like needles were stuck all over my feet. I propped up my dogs until the pain subsided. Then amazingly enough, my stomach pains came back, with full force. I guess my stomach was jealous of my feet and demanded my full attention.

Needless to say, it wasnapos;t a great morning.

I canapos;t help but draw a comparison. I like to do that because I think in metaphors. It reminded me of two, very different situations I had been dealing with recently. One had been a constant struggle (lets call this problem A), but consistent in level of irritation. Then a whole new situation (lets call this one problem B) arose that was very sudden and brought a whole new level of pain and agony. Fortunately, that situation has begun a healing process and the pain that was inflicted is beginning to subside.

During the period of time where the problem B was an issue, problem A had been pushed from my mind. It was something that I just had forgotten about completely. But then, as that whole ordeal started to fade, the original, constant irritation demanded more attention. My problem A came back at me like a stomach ache, even after the foot needles of Problem B went away.

This new uprising of an old problem was so demanding that all of my focus was directed at the problem. It was as if I were trying to make a spoon bend with my mind, staring at it, praying, hoping it will somehow hear me without me ever saying a word.

And I got notin.

The spoon wouldnapos;t budge.

I thought about breaking the spoon in half and chucking it out of a window. Then the spoon would know how angry I am for it being unwilling to bend, no matter how politely I asked.

But lets face it. The spoon is never going to bend. At least not because of my wants or wishes

Recognizing that is difficult, but neccesary. Because what I see now is that itapos;s not important for me to want the problem to change. The spoon was created to be a spoon. And in this situation, a spoon will not fit my needs. Because Iapos;m trying to find a utensil to eat a steak with and a spoon will simply not do. It just wouldnapos;t work.




I am starting to feel more at peace about all of this.
Really, I am.


I just wish I could get some sleep.

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пятница, 17 октября 2008 г.

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All seasons of this show are on sale for $18 each at Target and I was like "MOM. MY BIRTHDAYapos;S IN A WEEK ANYWAY" So she got them for me and told me not to ask her for anything else for my birthday but omg w/e.

Whatapos;s your favorite scene from this show?

Idk why but in the episode where Lucille takes George Michael to Motherboy... When Buster tries to glides down the wire on his hook and his hand comes off and he falls through the glass... That made me laugh harder than anything else.


And if you donapos;t watch this show, tell me your favorite scene from w/e your favorite show is.

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Jus came back from a feast. Ordered claypot frog legs, sambal kangkong, sweet and sour pork and curry fish head. Yum yUm Now I�am so full, I can hardly move. The whole meal cause $70 bucks for 4 of us. Quite cheap I feel. The food was not bad. =)

The cause of celebration is becoz its BQapos;s birthday 2ml and the guys wana go for a drink after dinner. As usual, they aim for the one-for-one beer session at Oglio in Holland V. I thought if we took bus, I could at least exercise a bit. But in the end, we took cab. I was feeling sooo full till I felt the food was going to burst out of my stomach. Despite feeling so full, I still shared a regular cup of Cold Rock ice-cream. That made me feel worse. But the ice-cream was good though. =P Lucky I didnt forgo this meal for TTapos;s fishmeat beehoon, though he claimed it is damn good.

2ml I will be going for another feast in Malaysia with Wilson and TJ. Too bad Denise cant come. =((( But the 4 of us will have mahjong session soon after my exams.. =))) Yay Iapos;m gona buy loads of cuttlefish 2ml. Hahaha. And crabs YumMy Cant wait for 2ml. So sad we cant be snapping photos away. Coz my partner not coming

Also, not forgetting the mini BBQ session tt QY is going to organise. More and more yumMmmY food. I cant wait for exam to be over

I know I shld be studying for my exam next week. But I really cant seem to concentrate on it. Shucks. All I can think of is play play and play Hahaha Hopefully I can still do well for exam. =)

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четверг, 16 октября 2008 г.

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Dance of the Dead is a fun little zombie movie, in case anyone is looking for one of those. Itapos;s not quite Shaun of the Dead, but what is?

In other news, the first weekend of Ten Little Indians went pretty well. The audiences really seemed to like it, which is, I suppose, the whole point. Itapos;ll be nice to be done with it, though, after this weekend... And then itapos;s on to Rocky Horror for the next two weekends. Which I suppose means I should really work on my lines for that some more.
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So Iapos;ve been thinking a bit about getting pregnant again. �Not that Iapos;m going to right away, but probably in the next year to year and a half.� I was pretty happy with Bodeapos;s birth, but there are definitely things that I want to go differently with the next birth.� Iapos;ve thought about having a home birth and am not sure that itapos;s something I want to do, but itapos;s certainly something that Iapos;m interested in.��I�have mixed feelings on it. �In any case I brought it up to Dan the other night and it almost prompted a fight.��Dan is very supportive of everything I have implemented with Bode...wheather it be breastfeeding, cloth diapering, delaying solids, not letting Bode watch T.V., making baby food, not giving certain foods, etc. Etc.� He has been with me and behind me 100 and has really made me proud to have him be the father of my child.��But, homebirth is something he is very against.� I donapos;t know what it is that heapos;s afraid of with it. �But� his thoughts were, "why?�what was wrong with Bodeapos;s birth?"��I just asked if I could have our next baby in the family room and he was like WTF?�I backed off because it wasnapos;t my intention to start a fight about it. But he is not into it at all. �I�hope that this is something that either I can come to terms with or that he can.�

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среда, 15 октября 2008 г.

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Dear You,

Why are you itchy? Put on some more lotion.

On a completely different note, donapos;t put all your eggs in one basket.

But put most of them in that one basket you like most ;)

Sincerely,

Yourself

* * * * *


Dear You,

He has said multiple times that he wants to marry his girlfriend, and sheapos;s already planning on it. Whether or not you think he should marry her is COMPLETELY irrelevant because you are emotionally involved - youapos;re head-over-heels for him.

Heapos;s not going to change. He has made his decision... By staying with his girlfriend. That doesnapos;t mean he doesnapos;t care deeply about you and you friendship; it just means he doesnapos;t want you.

Iapos;m not saying you should end your friendship with him as much as just back off. I donapos;t know how many different ways to say it without sounding like a broken record. Donapos;t let his decision rip apart your friendship, either.

Maybe in different circumstances, a real relationship could have been possible. But not in this life.

He doesnapos;t want you. It happens to the best of us.

Sincerely,

Chenda

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Wednesday Jon and i caught a ride up to Vancouver with some of his friends, Krystal, her boyfriend and Dan. They were really awesome people so the ride was fun and easy :) We got into Vancouver around mid afternoon, the sun was shining, it was a beautiful day...we entered by way of granville bridge and of course all those shiny modern glass buildings sitting on the water made me go WHOAAA IM MOVING HOME RIGHT NOW it was THAT gorgeous

Stopped in the South Granville rise area so Jon could do some paperwork and everyone could look around and then off to English Bay so that Dan, who had never been to vancouver could see how naturally beautiful this city is...and so that Krystal who loves sweets can try my favourite... A cupcake from cupcakes (An aside, i didnt know they opened a Bearded Papa Cream Puffs next door, if you havent tried it, GO GO GO. You have not yet lived).

After that i parted ways with everyone to go get the keys to the lovely kylaapos;s apartment and to meet up with Kels at her house to get ready before we all reunited at the show. Gravemaker, Outbreak, Misery Signals, Shai Hulud, Bane, Comeback Kid yeah BIG show. My first show in FOREVER. I had lots of fun, saw lots of friends who ive been missing so so so much It was all in all an amazing day.

Thursday Didnt really sleep til 4am the night before so i slept in wayyyyy late and then out shopping with Soma. I think we started with late lunch at Phnom Penh. Of course their famous garlic chicken wings, pure love. I made it a point to go visit all my friends who work on robson street it was so nice seeing everyone again and catching up :) Of course i spent a shit ton of money but i tried my best to keep it under control... A little flapper style ruffle tiered tank top in black and a high waisted black wool tulip skirt in black, both at Aritzia of course. I also bought black Keds, i think i prefer them from Vans Eras.
Afterwards we went back to West Van and studied...me for my dumb GRE exams and her for her midterms

Saturday Stopped at VFS to hang out with kelsey, morgan and pat doing a photoshoot for one of morganapos;s projects. Tarot cards, so cool Spent a few hours hanging out there and then proceeded to go downtown to run some errands. Of course everything i need to do is closed on saturday...assholes. I extend my trip to monday for this reason (unbeknownst to me, monday is CANADIAN THANKSGIVING).
At night i get to do the late night Tanpopo All-you-can-eat sushi experience with Pat, Andy and company Yay Two words- food coma.
Being the grandma i am i refused to party and settled into a comfortable stupor with Kerouac at hand.

Sunday Cream puffs and English Bay.

Monday It was POURING and i had no idea...i stepped out of the apartment (in railtown) to go to my lunch appointment with Meg and immediately i was soaking wet. Because of this i decided not to walk through Gastown and instead walk to main and hastings and take the bus from there. Im so glad i did, i got to the bus stop and all the hobos/crazies/what-have-you were all there yelling compliments, talking to me, asking me if i want to buy an umbrella etc etc. People are so scared of the downtown eastside and it has a stigma, but i swear the people here are some of the friendliest people i have ever come across in my life. They are awesome and even though their lives suck a lot of them dont wear a chip on their shoulder. I used to work in the neighbourhood at a home for people with schizophrenia and i didnt realize it til then.

Anyway, lunch with Meg at Cafe Crepe yummmmm. And then...SHOPPING ahhh i know i know i cant help it. But i was good, all i bought was a much needed umbrella at HM. It was a close call though.

Afterwards i was invited to Thanksgiving dinner at Somaapos;s childhood friendapos;s house, Anne. It was delicious...mmmm turkey, potatoes done two ways, millefeuille, cream puffs, alcoholic strawberries. Yum It was amazing i am drooling just thinking about it.

Today
Since today everything was open i resumed completing my errands before coming back to Seattle. Doctor, check. Bank, check. Mailbox, check. Voting...what a nightmare, it took me two hours cuz they sent me across the city to another polling booth, but still, check. I am an amazing citizen. The things i dooooo.

Now i am back in Seattle, sitting here eating this:

it is heaven, go buy it.
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