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Dear You,

Why are you itchy? Put on some more lotion.

On a completely different note, donapos;t put all your eggs in one basket.

But put most of them in that one basket you like most ;)

Sincerely,

Yourself

* * * * *

Dear You,

He has said multiple times that he wants to marry his girlfriend, and sheapos;s already planning on it. Whether or not you think he should marry her is COMPLETELY irrelevant because you are emotionally involved - youapos;re head-over-heels for him.

Heapos;s not going to change. He has made his decision... By staying with his girlfriend. That doesnapos;t mean he doesnapos;t care deeply about you and you friendship; it just means he doesnapos;t want you.

Iapos;m not saying you should end your friendship with him as much as just back off. I donapos;t know how many different ways to say it without sounding like a broken record. Donapos;t let his decision rip apart your friendship, either.

Maybe in different circumstances, a real relationship could have been possible. But not in this life.

He doesnapos;t want you. It happens to the best of us.

Sincerely,

Chenda

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Wednesday Jon and i caught a ride up to Vancouver with some of his friends, Krystal, her boyfriend and Dan. They were really awesome people so the ride was fun and easy :) We got into Vancouver around mid afternoon, the sun was shining, it was a beautiful day...we entered by way of granville bridge and of course all those shiny modern glass buildings sitting on the water made me go WHOAAA IM MOVING HOME RIGHT NOW it was THAT gorgeous

Stopped in the South Granville rise area so Jon could do some paperwork and everyone could look around and then off to English Bay so that Dan, who had never been to vancouver could see how naturally beautiful this city is...and so that Krystal who loves sweets can try my favourite... A cupcake from cupcakes (An aside, i didnt know they opened a Bearded Papa Cream Puffs next door, if you havent tried it, GO GO GO. You have not yet lived).

After that i parted ways with everyone to go get the keys to the lovely kylaapos;s apartment and to meet up with Kels at her house to get ready before we all reunited at the show. Gravemaker, Outbreak, Misery Signals, Shai Hulud, Bane, Comeback Kid yeah BIG show. My first show in FOREVER. I had lots of fun, saw lots of friends who ive been missing so so so much It was all in all an amazing day.

Thursday Didnt really sleep til 4am the night before so i slept in wayyyyy late and then out shopping with Soma. I think we started with late lunch at Phnom Penh. Of course their famous garlic chicken wings, pure love. I made it a point to go visit all my friends who work on robson street it was so nice seeing everyone again and catching up :) Of course i spent a shit ton of money but i tried my best to keep it under control... A little flapper style ruffle tiered tank top in black and a high waisted black wool tulip skirt in black, both at Aritzia of course. I also bought black Keds, i think i prefer them from Vans Eras.
Afterwards we went back to West Van and studied...me for my dumb GRE exams and her for her midterms

Saturday Stopped at VFS to hang out with kelsey, morgan and pat doing a photoshoot for one of morganapos;s projects. Tarot cards, so cool Spent a few hours hanging out there and then proceeded to go downtown to run some errands. Of course everything i need to do is closed on saturday...assholes. I extend my trip to monday for this reason (unbeknownst to me, monday is CANADIAN THANKSGIVING).
At night i get to do the late night Tanpopo All-you-can-eat sushi experience with Pat, Andy and company Yay Two words- food coma.
Being the grandma i am i refused to party and settled into a comfortable stupor with Kerouac at hand.

Sunday Cream puffs and English Bay.

Monday It was POURING and i had no idea...i stepped out of the apartment (in railtown) to go to my lunch appointment with Meg and immediately i was soaking wet. Because of this i decided not to walk through Gastown and instead walk to main and hastings and take the bus from there. Im so glad i did, i got to the bus stop and all the hobos/crazies/what-have-you were all there yelling compliments, talking to me, asking me if i want to buy an umbrella etc etc. People are so scared of the downtown eastside and it has a stigma, but i swear the people here are some of the friendliest people i have ever come across in my life. They are awesome and even though their lives suck a lot of them dont wear a chip on their shoulder. I used to work in the neighbourhood at a home for people with schizophrenia and i didnt realize it til then.

Anyway, lunch with Meg at Cafe Crepe yummmmm. And then...SHOPPING ahhh i know i know i cant help it. But i was good, all i bought was a much needed umbrella at HM. It was a close call though.

Afterwards i was invited to Thanksgiving dinner at Somaapos;s childhood friendapos;s house, Anne. It was delicious...mmmm turkey, potatoes done two ways, millefeuille, cream puffs, alcoholic strawberries. Yum It was amazing i am drooling just thinking about it.

Today
Since today everything was open i resumed completing my errands before coming back to Seattle. Doctor, check. Bank, check. Mailbox, check. Voting...what a nightmare, it took me two hours cuz they sent me across the city to another polling booth, but still, check. I am an amazing citizen. The things i dooooo.

Now i am back in Seattle, sitting here eating this:

it is heaven, go buy it.
enemies of snow leopards, enemies of rome, enemies of reality video, enemies of reality tab.

be careful how you use it

Back before i got sick my former Employment conselor/ friend Kelli came in to the Wasington office of TRIPIL for an interview that i helped wrangel for her.�� My buddy/the disability rights movement version of Cassanova Tom MAtthews was there and was just flirting outragesuly with Kelli and apparently (kelli reminded me today) i yelled across the room, "dontapos;, just donapos;t sheapos;s married and sheapos;s my friendapos;� sounding ever so much like The Doctor and Jack.���


TOm is a paraplegic who drives a white droptop ponitac from the 70apos;s, is very handsome and very smooth and lets face it, for the most part those with disabilities arent the prettiest people in hte world so Tom knows how to use it.
be careful how you use it, be careful it's my heart, be careful its my heart.

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I came home from school at about eleven today. I think I�might have the flu, which sucks, because the German�Club is doing Oktoberfest tomorrow afternoon. I feel all plugged up and achy and Iapos;m having these weird hot flashes. Basically I feel awful. I�hope I get better soon.

For some reason, lately Iapos;ve had this fascination with graduations, namely my own. (Not my high school graduation in 2011; my dental school graduation in 2019). I�keep writing poems and stuff about graduation, but the truth is, Iapos;ve never graduated from anything before. And itapos;s not even the fact that I want to be done with school so badly- which is true, but not the reason- Iapos;m just fascinated with the whole one life ends and another begins thing. I like the idea of finishing something important, and then going on the next day to begin a whole new part of your path.

I think I�really just like the idea of that scrapbook in your mind, filled with pictures and memories and the soundtrack of a few years of your life, and closing it for the time being, and opening a blank one to start again.

-Anna
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I know what i say hurts you. And i dont ever want to hurt you, but i feel sometimes its better for you to know whats going on in my head than have me pretend like theres nothing bothering me, which i would never want to do to you.

i dont mean to scare you. I really dont. I scare myself sometimes. And i hate it.




i just wish some things were different. Not in a grand-scheme-of-things sense, but the little stuff, you know?






vous toujours avez un lieu dans mon coeur. Toujours.
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